There's More to Introversion than Meets the Eye

I think if Robin and I stood on a corner and took a random poll asking people to describe the difference between introverts and extraverts, most interviewed would say something like "... introverts are shy and extraverts, well, not-so-much ..." Or, some variation of that.

What is so interesting about the work that came from Myers and Briggs who studied Carol Jung's work on I/E type, is that there are at least five different different dimensions or subsets of type. We can't be that easily packaged into talking/non-talking terms. Complex creatures we are!

From E (left) to I (right), the dimensions are:

Initiating------------------- Receiving
Expressive----------------- Contained
Gregarious ---------------- Intimate
Active---------------------- Reflective
Enthusiastic---------------- Quiet

You might be an introvert that is enthusiastic and expressive, and yet, you'll head straight for your interior space for reflection and recharging. Conversely, an extravert may be quiet and contained, and crave the stimulation of outside activities and connections to keep themselves well and balanced. This complexity and variety can lead many astray.

I do wish we came out of the chute with an owner's manual clutched in our tiny fist. Introverts, especially, need to know how to perform self-care in a world that has a default setting for extraverts. (imho)

When it comes to promotions, marketing, networking activities, yeah-- knowing what your strengths are is essential. But, it is equally important to know what feels like a one-way ticket to the Land of Dread. Do you know yet what you can comfortably do? And what you might be willing to challenge yourself to try? And what you just don't EVER want to do-- even if simply everyone in your writer's group is doing it?

I'm thinking back to a post that Robin did months ago that was really helpful. It was called the Comfort Level Inventory. If you missed that one, I'd really encourage you to go back to it. Seriously great tool to have and use.

In the meantime, do celebrate the amazing creature that you are. A self-charging being! Man, we were green before green was even cool. "-[]

Peace,


Mary

Professional Networking On Our Own Terms

Okay, so it's clear that a number of you won't be attending SCBWI National. Or if you are, you're keeping it a secret from us. With that in mind, I'd like to talk about technology's greatest gift to the introvert so those of you left at home have something to console yourselves with: Networking while all alone, whether at home in your most comfortable jammies or in your own preferred version of blissful solitude.

Really, how cool is it that we live in an era when we have access to publisher, agent, editor information, right at our fingertips. Not to mention discussion boards, forums, and other places to "hang out" with fellow writers, all with never leaving our computer chair?

I realize I'm preaching to the choir, here. You all must be fairly computer savvy; you found our blog, after all. Even so, I thought we'd share some of our favorite online networking spots, where we get the inside scoop, without ever having to actually talk to someone!

Enjoy!

Editors:
Great speech on authenticity in writing by the editor who discovered Harry Potter
http://www.arthuralevinebooks.com/blog.asp
Great source of dramatic writing theory by Cheryl Klein an editor with Arthur Levine Books
http://www.cherylklein.com/
Cheryl Klein’s Blog
http://chavelaque.blogspot.com/
Anonymous Children’s Editor Blog
http://editorialanonymous.blogspot.com/

Industry
These sites are full service sites talking about everything from craft to editors to agents.
http://cynthialeitichsmith.blogspot.com/
The Purple Crayon http://www.underdown.org/
http://www.jacketflap.com/index.asp
http://www.verlakay.com/

Agents
http://www.agentquery.com/Agent Kirsten Nelson’s blog – tons of great advice
http://pubrants.blogspot
Rachel Vater of Folio Literary Agency
http://raleva31.livejournal.com/
Association of Authors’ Representatives,
http://www.aar-online.org

Publisher Blogs
http://www.fluxnow.com/index.php
Harper Perennial http://cruelestmonth.typepad.com/
http://thepenguinblog.typepad.com/
http://simonpulseromanticcomedies.blogspot.com/

Organizations:
Author’s Guild, www.authorsguild.org
Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators SCBWI, www.scbwi.org
Novelists, Inc., www.ninc.org
Mystery Writers of America, www.mysterywriters.org
Romance Writers of America, www.rwanational.org
Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America, www.sfwa.org
The Author’s Guild www.authorsguild.org
Institute of Children’s Literature www.institutechildrenslit.com
Children’s Book Council www.cbcbooks.org/

At Long Last! (And More...)

Now I would never be one to make any assumptions about whether a person is an introvert or not ---(sound of Robin spewing Diet Coke in the background), but I do want to gently point out that it took two months for our Indie Bookseller of the Year, Kris Vreeland of Vroman's Bookstore to cough up a photo. That's all I'm saying! :-] We might just have a Shrinking Violet on our hands. Hmmmm. You be the judge.

Thanks, Kris! We are happy to finally put a face to our Esteemed Heroine-- we appreciate all that you and Vroman's do to promote great books for kids. We hope your coworkers and patrons are giving you the royal treatment these days. And if they aren't, you just let us know. We have quite the withering glance, and we're not afraid to use it!

And, while I have you all on the hook, I have a message from Ms. Viola, our Life Coach and SVP columnist. She wants you all to know she is head-banging-bored with all her wealthy clients and their life "challenges". . . what to wear to dodge paparazzi, which are the best parties not to be noticed at, and whether publishing one's innermost private jail journal is a bit too much exposure. The Ms. wants to hear from you! Please send your questions about marketing/promotions/life for shrinking violets to Ask Ms. Viola. If we select your question, we will send you one of our coveted SVP coffee/tea mugs.

And, um, are Robin and I really going to be the ONLY INTROVERTS going to SCBWI Nationals in LA next month? Say it isn't so!


More later, of course-

Mary Hershey

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Conference…

As Mary mentioned, I was a workshop leader at the Santa Barbara Writer’s Conference a couple of weeks ago, where I taught a six day class on writing children’s novels.

Okay, you can stop laughing now. I really did! Me, Madame Introvert taught a six day class. In front of people! Very highly intelligent and creative people! And they were looking at me!

Very odd behavior for an introvert. Or maybe not.

I will confess, there were a couple of horrible moments. The worst moment was the opening of the conference, when all the workshop leaders were required to give a two minute introduction/speech describing their workshop.

Most. Painful. Two. Minutes. Ever.

So I talked really fast, pretended to make eye contact while really only staring at people’s foreheads, and got it over with in under 45 seconds. AND managed to NOT trip while leaving the stage, something a surprising number of people did. (It was an awkwardly set up stage.)

Another painful moment was the staff party where all the staff and agents and editors from the conference get together for a social hour. In true introvert style, I am SO not a party goer. But I girded my loins and sallied forth to do my duty.

I was only one of two new teachers on a staff of about 45, so again, total nightmare, everyone else knew everyone there. So I forced myself to walk up to two very nice women and introduce myself and just talk. Gawd it was hard! Especially because it turned out they were agents. But see, once I remembered I had a perfectly good agent and am not in the market for a new one, talking to them became much more comfortable. And they were equally happy to have someone to talk to, since they had just been trying to talk themselves into mingling. Even agents have a hard time mingling at parties. Who knew?

The third most awkward moment was walking into the farewell breakfast, a room full of 500 people, all at tables with their closest and most treasured friends. Well, okay. Maybe not closest and most treasured, but it sure seemed that way. It brought back the memory of every middle school dance I ever attended, clinging to the wall, simultaneously wishing and dreading someone would ask me to dance.

But I did manage to snag someone I’d met and ask if her table was full, and was invited to sit down and had a lovely time.

But why-oh-why would I put myself in the direct line of so much awkwardness?

Because I love to teach workshops. Yep. Me, an officially registered, card-carrying introvert loves teaching. Even though it means I stand up in front of a room full of people and they stare at me.

See, workshops aren’t about me, they’re about writing. Craft. Stretching oneself. Learning the tricks of our writerly trade. And that is something I can talk for hours about with just about anybody.

Which is just a long way of saying that many times, even as introverts, we have comfort zones that we can use to connect with other writers and industry professionals.

Sometimes it just takes a while to find them…

On Helping your Extravert Understand what You Need

One of the things Robin and I hope to accomplish in this blog is to help our readers have a better grasp of how both introverts and extraverts inhabit their space in the world. As an artist, YOU are your own most valuable tool. It is crucial that you understand how you function best, and what you need.

It is almost as equally essential for the people that love us to really get what we need to be at ease, to be fueled, to be able to work. How many times do you suppose you've tried to explain to your spouse/ significant other/friend, why you don't want to go to a party, a potluck, a picnic, a dance, wedding, RV show? And, how many headaches, backaches, deadlines, root canals, or dying pets have you waved in front of them to legitimize your "flaking out"?

When the real reason-- a completely valid one-- is that you may be nearly out of gas. Your psyche needs you to draw inside. How can you be expected to jump onto a congested interstate when any second your motor will sputter and cough and you will find yourself getting creamed by oncoming traffic?

Out of gas, your extravert asks? Aw, c'mon, they say, "it will be fun... you'll feel better once you get there! I promise! It's just what you need."

I offer a little in vivo experiment for you and your favorite extravert. Tell them that you will go to their party, but they have to stay home, in a room all by themself. Then frisk them, take their iPod, cell phone, pager, blackberry, and remove ALL communication devices from the room. Check for hidden writing pens, carrier pigeons, matches that might be used for smoke signals. Take the lightbulbs, too. Cut them off from all exterior means of recharge.

Expect to hear-- "You can't leave me like this! I'll go crazy!" You can reassure them, "Aw, c'mon it will be great... you'll feel better once I leave." ;->

Without putting too fine a point on this, I think you and they will get it. Their pleasure and personal recharge might be your nightmare and vice versa.

You have a right and responsibility to your introverted self to take good care of yourself, which means staying close to your energy source-- your INTERIOR self. Your extravert has the same right and responsibility to stay close to their EXTERIOR SOURCE.

Know thyself and honor thyself at home, at work, in your art. Blossom, dear Vi and Vinnies!

Best,

Mary

Calling All Violets

Well, Mary let the cat out of the bag. We're considering a Shrinking Violet Get Together at SCBWI National this August and wanted to check with our fellow Violets to see who was planning on attending National, and if so, would they be interested in meeting face to face. It might be a nice way to arm ourselves with fellow introverts for the conference.

Now, we do understand this requires submitting a comment, and as introverts, that's not our favorite thing, but if you are interested in getting together, do give a shout out in the comments so we can get a head count!

Getting Ready for 5-0-0-0!

Our Shrinking Violet Promotions blog site is just about ready to receive it's 5000th visitor! Hoo-yah! Robin and I are all a'flutter. It has been such a fun few months here with all of you. We've been having an absolute blast.

Since we can't actually "see" who the 5000th visitor will be, but we want to celebrate it all the same, here's what we're going to do. The first three visitors that wish the site a Happy 5000! after the meter rolls over will win a Shrinking Violet mug. You can watch the visit meter at the bottom of the site.

We want to thank each of you for dropping by these last few months, for your great comments,, and insights, and for sending your friends our way.

So, watch that meter, and good luck! And, have a safe and festive 4th--

Cheers, friends!

Mary Hershey