A Uniquely Introverted Approach?

In the comments a couple of week’s ago, someone said they were still looking for a uniquely introverted approach to being an author rather than settling for Extrovert Lite, and I thought that was an interesting point. It got me to thinking, what would a uniquely introverted presence look and feel like? Is there a way to craft presence that is truly based on introvert strengths and not Extrovert Lite?

If one’s idea of an introvert presence is to have to do absolutely no engaging or connecting, the answer is probably not. One exception to this might be if you wrote such a dynamic, compelling kick @ss book that the publisher gets behind it in a BIG way and does all the heavy lifting for you. Even then, they will most likely want you to have some presence, some way of your readers to find you, a web site, a Facebook or Twitter account, or a blog. But how you use them is up to you.

So how does an introvert take these tools and use them wholly in their own way?

I think part of that answer is to use them with a different end in mind; to connect with readers rather than to draw and create new readers. It is a small thing really, a shift in perspective, but one that is based solidly in the introvert’s personality and strengths.

Introvert strengths that can be used to connect with readers are:

1. We are good at connecting deeply and meaningfully with people.

2. We like to think and talk about big, important things and ideas. Not chit chat, but deep conversations.

3. While we do like to connect with people, it needs to be in keeping with our own energy levels. This is why the internet is such a huge breakthrough for introverts.

So we build our marketing presence on those three principles. In fact, it will not so much be a marketing presence but more about creating opportunities to connect. It might seem like a matter of semantics, but it radically shifts the focus and the goal of what you’re doing—and that goes a long way to taking it out of the Extrovert Lite category and putting it solidly into the Truly Introvert category.

The thing is, if you’re a writer, I’m guessing that means you had something to say, something that compelled you to give voice to the ideas and thoughts in your head. Connecting in an introverted way is simply about extending that at the edges, just a little bit.

As an introvert:

DON’T pay attention to numbers and visitor counters.

DON’T promote your work or put a scintilla of pressure on yourself to shill your books.

DON’T feel  like the focus has to be all about you.

DO pay attention to each reader that stops by—answer their comments, create a relationship.

DO have your book cover and title and appropriate links somewhere on your site or FB page, just as one additional aspect of who you are.

DO focus on and talk about things that move you, things that you care about and are passionately involved in. Chances are, those issues touch your work in some way and can be a faintly connecting thread.

As for what tools are best suited to introverts, well, I know there are many introverts out there who enjoy Twitter, but an equal number find it distressing. Luckily, there are many other ways to connect. I am one who prefers Facebook to Twitter (although I am on both) because it is mutual and it is less about connecting in real time and just about connecting. It suits my own personal rhythms better.

Blogging is also good because it allows us to have deep, lengthy conversation, rather than quick, shallow sound bytes, which I am not so fond of.

Skyping is my new favorite thing and will, I think, allow introverts to connect in a big way with their younger readers. There is something very intimate about sitting at home in front of your computer with a group of twenty, eight year olds sitting criss-cross applesauce on the floor. It feels much more like a conversation than a presentation and I cannot recommend it highly enough. I also highly recommend finding someone to practice with Thank you, Sarah! Thank you, Gbemi!)

In fact, I think that is the secret to getting comfortable with any extroverted activity: practice, practice, practice until it is second nature. You just have to speak in public, network, give a presentation, tell someone your elevator pitch often enough that it is smooth and practiced and all the bumps and kinks are worked out.

When one is lacking a natural affinity for something, rock solid knowledge and familiarity can be a helluva great substitute.

The thing is though, the true trick, is to not give up before you’ve achieved at least technical mastery. That is the secret to Toastmasters—you just stand up and speak in front of people so freakin’ often that you’ve gotten used to it.

It is also hugely important to keep in mind that there are an entire array of non-internet based marketing tools out there, so if any sort of socializing feels like too much, consider one of those. Targeted postcard mailings, extensive ARC and author copy mailings to key libraries, schools, and indie booksellers. For just about the best outline of these sorts of activities, I highly recommend Saundra Mitchell’s Tools for Writers here and here. For an introvert who is just not interested in any sort of connecting or socializing, that might be the most effective use of your time and energy.

I also think that, as an introvert, it is extraordinarily easy to take a lack of comfort with an activity and label it as extroverted. For many introverts, transitions and learning in public is not a comfortable thing. But that is different than not actually enjoying the activity itself, so maybe pick an activity or two and give yourself time to master it to the point of familiarity and competence and see if that changes your view at all.

The thing to keep in mind is that there ARE introverts out there who like to do things that other introverts don’t. So to say that including any of those activities is the equivalent of catering to Extrovert Lite isn’t exactly accurate. There are social, energetic, enthusiastic, communicative introverts out there.  We can learn from them.

Anne Lamott goes out there, warts and all, and is completely authentic; interestingly, one of the things people love most about her is her absolute honesty and vulnerability.

No one can tell me John Green isn’t an introvert. I also find it fascinating that his huge internet presence came out of simply inviting others to participate in the genuine connection between he and his brother. There’s a big lesson there.

Mitali Perkins is an introvert, yet she is a big user of social media—but she uses it to be involved in matters she is hugely passionate about, to connect with readers and writers, and people who care about the same things she does.

Suzanne Collins, Meghan Whalen Turner, Kristen Cashore, all have very quiet internet presences. They’ve also written amazing books that have done very, very well. But even then, Collins ended up having to go on tour to connect with her fans and Cashore speaks and reads at a huge number of events. She even talks about her road to getting comfortable with that, something that did not come easily to her. Turner seems to have been able to maintain a very quiet presence, but she is also a Newberry Medalist, so there is that.

Another approach to help you develop and maintain a more uniquely introverted presence online is to take a cue from Elizabeth Gilbert. A couple of years ago, Mary posted about how Gilbert’s technique of telling her story to just one particular person in her mind, garnered millions of readers.

Most introverts not only have that ability—to talk meaningfully with one person—but actually enjoy that activity. Find out what sorts of conversations you enjoy having, then find a way to gently and quietly bring them to your author presence.

The thing is, the internet is an amazing tool. An important thing to keep in mind is it doesn’t have to be wielded at full blare in order to be effective.

I would love to hear of any people you think have created a uniquely introverted presence, or ideas, suggestions, or tips you have that would help someone do that.

Dispelling Ten Myths About Introverts

As most SVP readers know far too well from first hand experience, the myths about introverts abound. If you get tired of being misunderstood by friends, family, and coworkers, consider printing this list out and handing it to them next time they insist you really do want to attend that company picnic or huge party.☺

1. We are not all shy.

Shyness is actually a trait that is quite separate from being an introvert, and while some introverts are shy, there are also some very confident introverts, just as there are many shy extroverts. Shy involves being nervous or timid about social situations, or having a fear of being humiliated or in the spotlight. Introvert means that we draw our emotional and psychic energy from solitude. VERY different things.

2. We are not anti-social.

Quite the contrary! We have many close, dear friends, but we also recognize that being with people just for its own sake does nothing for us and, in fact, drains our batteries right quick. We love to connect with people, but not just mingle with hordes of people for its own sake.

3. Introversion is not a mental health issue.

In spite of the American Psychiatric Association’s current inclination to view it that way, introversion is a temperament, a way of being in the world, it is most decidedly not a mental health issue. Unfortunately, as our psychiatric profession puts more and more emphasis on medication and external behavioral therapies, and total conforming behavior, that distinction is getting lost. I think the argument could very easily be made that the drawbacks they often attribute to being an introvert come from introversion being MISUNDERSTOOD, rather than introversion itself.

4. We don’t not like people.

We DO like people! In fact, we love quite a lot of them. We just like to do it on our own terms. In fact, part of our desire to recharge is so that we may connect with those we love in a more meaningful way.

5. We do contribute to society.

Puh-lease! Artists, writers, philosophers, therapists, the sciences—all these fields are dominated by introverts. There are also introverts in just about every field you can name, from the clergy to teachers to nurses to pilots and engineers. Well, maybe not salesmen, although I bet there are some introverts out there who have had very successful sales careers. The thing is, the very thing that makes us introverts—that inward focus and desire to surf the world of ideas as if it were one giant wave is what makes our contribution to society so valuable.

6.  Introversion is not a weakness that must be overcome.

It is not something we need to be cured of, or coaxed out of, or shamed from. Just FYI, many of the traits we introverts have are (or at least were) considered virtues and the signs of a contemplative mind.  

7. We do not have intimacy issues.

In fact, introverts have some of the closest, most in depth, intimately connected relationships on the planet. Mostly because they do not look for connecting for its own sake, or collect acquaintances like baseball cards, but because when they do spend the time and energy to have a relationship, it will be a deeply meaningful one.

8.  We are not broken extroverts.

Really. We’re not. Stop trying to fix us already. Remember how years ago they used to try to ‘fix’ left handed people so that they would become right handed? Yeah, that didn’t work out so well either and created LOTS of problems.

9. Introversion is not the same as social anxiety.

Introversion is simply the need to recharge in solitude, we simply get our energy from solitude. Being around people does not make us anxious, although it can make us bored, annoyed, overwhelmed, and just plain tired. And again, a lot of social anxiety can be traced to trying to force introverts to do something that does not come naturally for them. Sort of like putting an extrovert in solitary confinement. We don’t claim they have solitude phobias, do we? (Although, come to think of it, perhaps we should.)

10. Introverts are not self-absorbed.

We are self aware, which is an entirely different thing. The thing is, when we are alone, we’re not just thinking of ourselves and our feelings, we’re thinking of you and your feelings, the human condition, society, spiritual matters, in general, pondering deep thoughts. Sometimes those include our selves and many times they emphatically do not.

There's More to Introversion than Meets the Eye

I think if Robin and I stood on a corner and took a random poll asking people to describe the difference between introverts and extraverts, most interviewed would say something like "... introverts are shy and extraverts, well, not-so-much ..." Or, some variation of that.

What is so interesting about the work that came from Myers and Briggs who studied Carol Jung's work on I/E type, is that there are at least five different different dimensions or subsets of type. We can't be that easily packaged into talking/non-talking terms. Complex creatures we are!

From E (left) to I (right), the dimensions are:

Initiating-------------------------------- Receiving

Expressive------------------------------ Contained

Gregarious ----------------------------- Intimate

Active------------------------------------ Reflective

Enthusiastic---------------------------- Quiet

You might be an introvert that is enthusiastic and expressive, and yet, you'll head straight for your interior space for reflection and recharging. Conversely, an extravert may be quiet and contained, and crave the stimulation of outside activities and connections to keep themselves well and balanced. This complexity and variety can lead many astray. 

I do wish we came out of the chute with an owner's manual clutched in our tiny infant fist. Introverts, especially, need to know how to perform self-care in a world that has a default setting for extraverts. (imho)

When it comes to promotions, marketing, networking activities, yeah-- knowing what your strengths are is essential. But it is equally important to know what for you feels like a one-way ticket to the Land of Dread. Do you know yet what you can comfortably do? And what you might be willing to challenge yourself to try? And what you just don't EVER want to do-- even if simply everyone in your writer's group is doing it?

I'm thinking back to a post that Robin did months ago that was really helpful. It was called the Comfort Level Inventory.  If you missed that one, I'd really encourage you to go back to it. Seriously great tool to have and use.

In the meantime, do celebrate the amazing creature that you are. A self-charging being! Man, we were green before green was even cool. 

Peace,
Mary Hershey

Original Post July 22, 2007

 

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On Monday, we'll be announcing the the winner of the Shrinking Violet Slogan Contest! Our lucky winner will receive a copy of Priscilla Ahn's amazing new CD.  And, we'll be printing one (or more) of the slogans on tees and gear coming soon with Cafe Press.   Available for purchase right here.  And once we are properly attired in our tribe gear, we WILL be taking over the world.  (Just so you'll know what's coming next. {:o] )

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Catch All

Because sometimes there’s just a bunch of little things...

Interesting tidbit #1:
In last Friday’s NYT, there was an article called Shy on Drugs, and it discussed the blurry line between shyness, a normal trait, and social anxiety disorder, something that requires medical attention. But what really caught my eye was the fact that :

“By the time they reach college, up to 51 percent of men and 43 percent of women describe themselves as shy or introverted. Among graduate students, half of men and 48 percent of women do.”

I thought this was a fascinating statistic, especially since the prevailing wisdom claims that only 25% of the population are introverts. Of course, including the word shy in there skews things a bit, but I still thought it was interesting.

Interesting bit #2:
Kate diCamillo has always been an amazing author, but now she’s my hero for another reason. Posted on her website under “Speaking.”


In case you can’t read it, it says:

Regrettably, It is difficult for Kate to balance the amount of time she spends writing with the amount of time she spends on the road, talking with her readers, whom she adores.

Because Kate is overwhelmed, we are not currently booking new speaking engagements.

And lastly, as an addendum to Ms Viola’s post Monday about School Visits, in this month’s SCBWI Bulletin, there is a terrific article by Alexis O’Neill on the very thing we were talking about: Increasing Invitations for Middle Grade and YA Writers.

Alexis makes a couple of excellent points that I thought were worth mentioning here. She warns against glamour or my journey school visits, claiming that stories of our road to publication aren’t enough anymore in today’s highly pressured school visit environment. Schools need material that tie into their curriculum or standards. If MG and YA authors want to increase their school visit potential, they need to look to their state’s educational standards and see how they can tie their books into those guidelines.

This does two things. It can generate more school visits, which is good if you’re wanting that, and it does something that my introverted self loves: it takes the focus off of me and puts it on the material. That’s always a much more comfortable place for me.

So if you haven’t read your SCBWI Bulletin, check it out. If you’re not a member of SCBWI, and you write or illustrate for children, consider joining!

Until next week!