Confessions of an Introvert: An Interview with Author Meghan Wier

I'm delighted to be able to introduce you all to a compelling new title just out this month by author Meghan Wier--
Confessions of an Introvert: The Shy Girl's Guide to Career, Networking, and Getting the Most Out of Life.  I dunno, I could be wrong, but I'm thinking this might be a read of real interest to our kind here. :-)

Meghan is an author, freelance writer, corporate blogger and Web consultant living in Fort Mill, South Carolina with her husband and son.  She researches and writes about Search Engine Optimization, business networking, relationships, career choices and strategies for introverts.

Meghan was kind enough to allow me to snag her during her busy launching month for an interview.  Being introverts, we did it by email, of course.

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SVP: What was your personal catalyst for writing Confessions of an Introvert?

Meghan: I was working with dozens of small business people in my job at a web development company – and so many of them were struggling with the “basics” of business. They wanted to just do what it was they were good at… but they were missing things like networking, and self-promotion. I wanted to help them with what I had learned.

SVP: Your book proposes to help the reader separate "shy traits from introverted ones." Can you say a bit more about that? How do you differentiate between shyness and introversion?

Meghan: I see introversion as a physical reaction to being around people… i.e. introverts find it exhausting to be social – even if they are ok with doing it. Shy people do not want, or know how to behave in public in a way that represents the real them. They are profoundly self-conscious and are affected by a feeling of inadequacy about it. Many introverts are shy – but not all of us – and shyness can be worked through as confidence is gained… but even the most un-shy introvert will still be drained after a day of networking or socializing.

SVP: Your "About the Author" piece describes you as an "introvert/forced extravert". Can you explain what means? Does that mean that during your work day, you push yourself to live outside your comfort zone for the sake of business?

Meghan: Yes, for the sake of business (or talking to the other moms at the soccer game) I do have to step outside my comfort zone. I take on the persona of an extravert. I still am drained by other people, but I now know ways to accommodate the feelings I get from “social interaction” – like taking a walk alone in the middle of an event, or planning alone time before and after.

SVP: You seem to have a very busy, active, and "out" professional lifestyle. Would you prefer more writing time and solitude time, or does your balance work for you?

Meghan: I did not set out to be so “public” but as a business person, I saw this as such an important aspect of success. People need to know you, and like you to do business. As human beings we are more likely to work with someone we have a relationship with – and to have a relationship (any kind…), you have to put yourself out there. However, I do also lead an anonymous, quiet, loner life as best I can. If I am not meeting, or working, or promoting, or networking… I am quite happy to be alone – to write or just be with my family. Balance is VERY important to the introvert, especially if a big portion of your time is spent in those “forced-extravert”activities.

SVP: What are your favorite recharging activities?

Meghan: Checking email (but not always responding), writing, sitting outside on a sunny day, being w/ my family, or napping!

SVP: What advice do you have for an introvert who's work team is primarily extraverted?

Meghan: Participate as much as possible. If you are always the one who doesn’t do lunch with the team, or speak up at a meeting, or let yourself be the “wall-flower”you will be seen as an outsider—and then feel left out when you aren’t included. You need to focus on building strong relationships with your team—and for you this may mean getting to know each one individually, so that when they are in a group, you are not as overwhelmed by them. BUT… also take and savor the time you have before and after work to recharge so that you will be better able to be an active member of this group.

SVP: If you could have dinner with any introvert in the world (past or present), who would you choose?

Meghan: I have heard that Barbara Walters is an introvert… I would love to hang out with her for an hour.

SVP: Conversely, any extravert whom you would you love to sit and pick their brain?

Meghan: Wow… maybe Martin Luther King Jr… I would just like to know how he was able to accomplish so much, and what he would think of our country today.

SVP: Is there any work-related area that continues to be a real challenge for you as an introvert?

Meghan: Setting up meetings and talking on the phone with new people… I hate talking on the phone. I will do almost anything to avoid it.

SVP: How will you use what you've learned about yourself and introversion to help you promote your new book?

Meghan: The biggest thing is to breathe—literally and figuratively. Sometimes I get overwhelmed and then excited and talk so much I lose my breath. Also—I have learned not to take anything too personally – good press, bad press, constructive criticism, etc. Everyone will always have an opinion and that is their right. As a shy, introverted person, I take the critical things to heart, and if I am going to have the other things in life I seek – i.e. success in business and life, then I need to be able to take the good feedback and the harsher criticism and grow from it—and move on!Meghan is currently working on her second book on introversion and relationships.

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In honor of Meghan's book launching, we are pleased to be able to give away a copy of her book to one of our readers.  To enter to win, we are looking for your best piece of advice for a new, introverted author in her first month of publication.

Best of  luck to you, Meghan!  Thanks for all your efforts and guidance on behalf of Shy Girls and Shy Guys everywhere!

Mary Hershey