Robin and I have been chatting off-line a bit with one of one of our very cool readers who has posted the intriguing question: Are introverts always shy? And conversely-- are shy people always introverts?
And the answer is a resounding ... not necessarily! But possibly!
And the answer is a resounding ... not necessarily! But possibly!
I know, that's about as helpful as hairspray in a hurricane. Introversion is defined by the way in which a person gathers energy for themselves-- either in solitude or in the company of others. To put it in more practical terms, after a demanding day, what is your favorite way to unwind? By yourself, or with friends? Would we be more likely to find you headed out for a walk by yourself, or to a packed kick boxing class at your gym?
Introverts crave and need time alone to reconnect to their power source. An extrovert needs the energy of others to recharge.
The term shy is used in a number of different ways, but it is really a behavior you can observe. You can see 'shy'. We all know what it looks like, right? But when people use it as an adjective, or a trait to describe someone, it is most often because they have observed that person behaving that way, perhaps over a period of time. We are what we repeatedly do, or so it is said.
I've been called shy all my life, and I suppose that was true when I was younger. I think that it's introversion now that really fuels my social shrinking behavior. It's not that I feel apprehensive or nervous about engaging with someone or a group (not too often anyway), it's just that I know that it will drain my energy. So, I've become much more selective about my activities.
The term shy is used in a number of different ways, but it is really a behavior you can observe. You can see 'shy'. We all know what it looks like, right? But when people use it as an adjective, or a trait to describe someone, it is most often because they have observed that person behaving that way, perhaps over a period of time. We are what we repeatedly do, or so it is said.
I've been called shy all my life, and I suppose that was true when I was younger. I think that it's introversion now that really fuels my social shrinking behavior. It's not that I feel apprehensive or nervous about engaging with someone or a group (not too often anyway), it's just that I know that it will drain my energy. So, I've become much more selective about my activities.
We'd love to hear from some of you on this! Any un-shy introverts out there? Shy introverts? Or shy extroverts?
And, if we haven't already said this, Robin and I welcome private posts for any of you that don't feel comfortable addressing the whole group. Feel free to email me at mlhrshy@aol.com or Robin at rllafevers@cox.net
Have a stellar weekend, friends! And to those of you at SCBWI Nationals, you lucky things, have a blast. And, don't forget to P-A-C-E yourselves. Be kind to your introvert, okay?
Lastly, I do want to take a moment to acknowledge the closing of our Adventures for Kids Children's Bookstore this past weekend in Ventura, California. Thank you, Jody and Barbara, and all the marvelous team there for your decades of extraordinary work and support of children's literature. You will be missed. May your good works return to you each a hundred-fold.
Salud, dear friends!
Mary Hershey
(Original Shy vs. Introverted Post March 2007)
