Surprisingly, It DOES Get Easier…

At work today I was talking to a coworker. I had taught a workshop last Saturday and would be coming in late tomorrow because I was doing a school visit in the morning. My coworker looked at me, jaw agape, and said, “Oh my God, I could never do that. Never. I would be a nervous wreck for a full week before I even had to speak. And then I would just stutter with nerves.”

And as I listened to her, I realized she was describing me, four years ago.

Four years ago, the mere idea of speaking in front of more than two people who weren’t related filled me with dread. My palms grew all sweaty, my throat dry, and my voice got shaky with nerves. Sometimes, I even couldn’t breathe—literally—while attempting public speaking and had to come to a complete stop and gasp down some oxygen, because my lungs constricted.

But lately I’ve noticed something, and it really hit me over the head last Saturday. I was barely nervous at all anymore. In fact, I don’t even think what I was feeling could be called nerves, more like anticipation, looking forward to getting the workshop ball rolling, as it were.

Sure, I was wondering if I had too much material or not enough, or if I had enough copies of the handouts or had provided enough examples—but no, lung-clenching, throat constricting, oh-my-god-I-can’t-breathe case of nerves. The whole public speaking part of it wasn’t even an issue.

Somewhere along the way, I got used to the act of public speaking. And while there will always be some situations that are more comfortable than others, I now have some success to draw upon.

That's not to say I'll always be fine with every public speaking occasion in the future. Hardly. This was only a group of about thirty, and I was talking about writing, not me or being an author. Put me in front of a group of 200 adults? Yeah, I'll probably continue to be a little nervous. But now that I have proof that I can acclimate to these sorts of situations, it makes it just that much more worthwhile to push myself a little bit in that direction. Mary even has a name for these sorts of goals, push goals? Stretch goals? Can't remember...

Anyway, that’s what I’d like to share with any of you Violets with a similar dread of public speaking: you really and truly can become accustomed to it through practice. And this is coming from someone who swore they would never be able to. I never set out to get used to it, but I kept plugging away at a few speaking opportunities, letting my love of connecting with a room full of kids or sharing craft elements with fellow writers overcome my fear of speaking in front of groups. And Voila! It did in fact get easier…

And trust me, if it can get easier for me, it can for you too...